wonderful individuals: Jul. 16, 2002 (7:50 am)

summer's what you make it

i came home from the show dancing around my room like i did last year when i returned from shows excited and impassioned. i love seeing the field comfortably full. and not in a monolithic most pit but individuals. "wonderful individuals". and everything made me smile and laugh. pictures of people lost in the music. the regular bouncing when everyone is still, the troubled-looking beautiful twenty something with intense gazng eyes, the drummer when he sings along. as i glancd around this boy i hardly know made funny faces at me. and everything from thursday was forgotten. because this is wonderful.

and even the ending. because even if he was creepy, and old--he still thought i had beautiful eyes. and i didn't pass mike unignored (like i felt last week). and i spoke to the boy who wore a yo la tengo shirt weeks ago. and he was nice to me.

througout all of work yesterday i looked at andrea; who is pretty, pleasant and smart. and i felt so hurt because paul would love her. and even as i talk about this wonder i still want him to come back.

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