tunnel: 11-28-01 (5:52 pm)

debate kids are telling me that the college-debate-coach only talks to me because he thinks this kid likes me. arghh maybe he's just hiding his true love for me. ha. i don't even like him, i just want to...or it's not even that--he's just this new, shiney thing who i dont hate yet. i still think he was flirting with me but he could have just been leading me on.

this would normally really affect me. seriously. and now it's the opposite. i note that it's there, and i write about it like i would but i dont really feel bad. all my passion and intensity about everything feels gone. and on the one hand that's good becuase i feel less depressed, but on the other hand i dont feel like me and i want to go back to feeling.

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