true: Mar. 05, 2002 (7:07 pm)

last night when he appolgized for hurting me so, i wanted to explain to paul that he shouldn't appologize because he's supposed to be playing the bastard right now. and i'm sorry but that's the role he deserves. maybe he does feel truly sorry that i started (briefly) smoking again after we broke. instead i said i had to go and that it ws nice talking to him.

it really was.

i think my relationship with alex has been shitty since november and i just go through stages where i'm able to ignore it because i'm distracted. and even if they made the concious descision to spend more time with other friends i still feel like a fucking part time friend. only good enough to speak to him because she's not there.

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