too: Mar. 13, 2002 (7:36 pm)

so many have called me special, distinct, unique or whatever synonym sounds best to them. so i wonder why i'm so alone, why despite all the brief "relationships" i've had that only one stands out and nothing is progressing right now.

perhaps i've just given up on opportunities. things have started and i've always stopped them because i wasn't pleased with the person. since i'm tend to be too shy, too reserved, too nervous to talk to those who i like (and even if i did talk to them, would they really be so different? or is it just because i admire from a far andcan therefore make stuff up). maybe that's why nothing happens.

and i know i need to take matters into my own hands, but i'm still sad.

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