then: Apr. 19, 2002 (11:48 pm)

i put the pearls on and they got stuck because they were from a discount store and i think the problem was with the clasp. and i pulled on it, and caitlin did and so did he while sofly pushing against the rest of me and i felt like someone else.

during the show i nervously played with scissors and noticed later the indent in my skin. i must have flicked my lighter a thousand times, but with no cigarette it's not really the same. and all night it's been annie annie annie. the very word hurts my head and makes me nervous.

so yeah it's the same tomorrow. maybe i'll get those cigarettes then, just my show week pack.

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