need: Apr. 20, 2002 (11:47 pm)

so i'm not even being as honest here as i'd like to be.

i feel so lonely, not even just lonely but activly disliked. and when i mopely tell that to alex he says i have him. but competitive me wants to be the best. and even with christine gone i still am not. it's a reall awful way to think.

it seems i just hate everyone but him. is it still love by default? and should i even say it.

because i don't think i even need to.

there's no way to lie with actions i've found.

< - > - all - p - n - d