two point five: Apr. 21, 2002 (10:05 am)

imagine those hours that i've wasted not doing anything, just sitting and talking or fighting with paul. and it never went anywhere. and there's something special when the person's there because you can't lie then. no, we wouldn't have gone through a month and a half of lies had we seen each other more often. and maybe things would've been better. yeah, maybe we'd be on brilliant terms now because our relationship would've evolved to where we thought we were. it's possible.

we also could've realized much earlier who we were.

maybe i'm just tired and in a self-depricating mood but i'm beginning not to like myself that much. it used to be enough to like liz phair. remember when it was that easy? to write yourself off as esoterically cool. i miss that, but may be not. maybe something more will come out of this...

i have the deep fear of becoming a soccer mom. with a minivan. and two kids and a dog. a buisnessman husband. and a life like everyone else.

< - > - all - p - n - d