record: Mar. 07, 2002 (7:25 pm)

sometimes i see him quickly look away from me, or slightly smile and i wonder if it could possibly mean anything. and i let myself believe that it does for a bit, but then i think that it's rather ridiulous and convince myself that i'm just lying to myself...but must it be that way? but it's possible he knows i like him and he's just humoring me. i suppose it's all possible.

the basis of my friendship with merl was her interest in bobby. so what now? now that he knows, and he doesn't like her. i can't tell her about the latest bobby siting, and i don't really want to talk much about my him anymore.

it's not that i don't trust her, because i really do, it's just that once something is verbalized at school it gets around.

i'm too embarassed, i don't want him to know.

until a few weeks ago i dismissed the great gatsby as quite a shallow book about rich people. and i may not adore every aspect of the characters, there have been times that i've bee reading the book that i've looked behind my shoulder to make sure nick carraway was not behind me, to make sure i was not gatsby. sometimes i'm so busy staring at the green light i let a million people that are not so fantastic come in and out of my life.

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