mirror: Mar. 21, 2002 (7:27 pm)

so i searched through my old entries and i haven't written about paul in ten days. pretty fucking imressive, eh? well we've been on off terms so i suppose there hasn't been much to say. but things just felt good last night, like if our relaionship stayed that way thing would be fine (although i know that's impossible...our relationship tends to move in cycles).

but he did the same old things. when i talked about my fortune-cookie-boy he scoffed and said that i was too good for him. 'so who can i date?' implying that you don't want to be with me either so what then. you're not so perfect yourself, you know.

so i spent most my afternoon hanging out with this boy meryl likes while sewing costumes. and i feel vaguely guilty. i don't remember everything that was said, but i'm afraid some of the stuff i said may have made her look worse because i don't think it was the type of stuff i would say if she was there. i didn't mean to hurt her. i just can't stand dishonesty. i can't just sit there and lie to hide her faults. and i suppose it doesn't need to be said, but still it's the truth.

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