mirror: Jun. 18, 2002 (9:27 pm)

eveything feels like a chore. and all my pain is trite; it must be because i heard a fucking dashboard confessional song and thought, 'that is so true.' that is so true. and the last time i talked to christina i said 'maybe this arangement with paul will work' and i have no idea to what i was referring. was it that...or that...or that...some failed telephone call. i have nothing and that's because i hate everything i have. opposite of a packrack. i fill landfills but i know it's bad. and i'm angry at paul. and alex. because...he lies and doesn't understand it. and i care about him so much...but do i? i don't know. i don't know. maybe i just want him to love me. and they're out. they're out without me. and i thought he was different. but he's just a four point oh sixteen hundred. a fucking waste. he wasn't like this a few months ago. he's changed. AND HE'S HAPPY.

< - > - all - p - n - d