look out: 12-30-01 (10:51 pm)

i saw the most beautiful man on my way down to ft lauderdale. he was so messy but not in that repulsive way. shaggy hair in his face. not well shaven. appeared like he was too busy reading or doing something really important to care. and he had emo-y glasses over the most beautiful eyes ever. i locked eyes with him for a few moments. it was so nice. he was typing on a laptop and he'd chew his fingers, rub his eyes + look around. i'm forgetting him now...what exactly was so damn attractive. he sneered a lot too. it's weird to think about it but what if he (or anyone) is seeing me and thinking i'm the most beautiful looking girl ever and writing about me. how would i even ever know?

maybe i was too negative with paul. maybe it will just take time for us to become comfortable. or maybe not. i can't be sure.

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