left: Mar. 25, 2002 (10:25 am)

in eight grade my mantra was 'i do not regret the things i have done but those i did not do'. and last year i realized that i used that as a justification to hurt people. so what am i thinking now? i think acting honestly is how i should guide my life.

i knew in january that i only loved paul by default. yet i still persued him and when i saw him again i was dissapointed. even back in eighth grade every problem i've had could have been solved had i been acting honestly.

i don't think that means that i must tell everyone everything, but instead means that should not tell them anything false. and most importantly i should not act or talk in a way that falsely represents how i feel.

then i guess that leaves one questions to be answered. how do i honestly feel?

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