human: May. 24, 2002 (8:35 pm)

wiping the excess cream cheese off a bagel, she told me about her reality crisis. thinking if the ive's play 'long ago and far away' i slighty giggled, but really i understood every word she said. and i realize a i write this that i can't remember the last time i talked with a girl about something serious. felt like a conversation, not jut storytelling. and i'm happy someone else realizes that they way we all live our lives may not be the best way. certainly not the only way.

earlier, i was fighting them off from both sides. defending baudrilliard. because he really isn't saying that these keys that i'm hitting currently don't exist--he's talking about something bigger. we've become ungenuine. we create something unreal, we believe in the unreal, we act on the unreal, and we suffer because of our ideas of the unreal. and we look over so much, so much is lost by thinking of these things that mean nothing. they told me i was wrong, that lux hated baudrilliard and would think i was wrong too. they were quite wrong.

he went off on a tangent, if you cut your arm are you still human? how far can you go and still be human? until you realize we're nothing more than a lot of cells that happen to do stuff. but still these cells do amazing things.

so i may still be human if i take medicine, will i still be myself?

< - > - all - p - n - d