fake: Aug. 14, 2002 (10:07 am)

i'm having trouble ordering words. making points. writing.

even though i feel content for moments: i can't deny that i still miss honest conversations. they made me feel guity; that my honesty was unwanted and that they would never, ever care. they won't.

and i guess now i feel better because i'm pretending that something is going somewhere. that soon i will be honest again. and someone will care about our conversations.

(it's not registering that this is just make believe)

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