fade: Jun. 22, 2002 (11:35 am)

why do you say i don't deserve this and then add to it? and why don't i deserve. not an innocent victem. not completely. and remember before. you both called me interesting because i think. and now that chases you away. because it's overbearing (disgusted boys ignore). what made me interesting then but now my sarcasm and sadess is nothing but a burden (oh! it's not. it's been the only good fucking conversation you've had? well yeah then i understand why you desert...i don't want you advice. i want you to change) and you call me a pleasure but i feel obnoxious. can't stop interupting people. pointless memories flow. impossible exchange--but i know it's all devalued. that i'm not worth as much to you as i once [thought i] was.

'paul says that too' 'fuck'

i'm not all shiney and new anymore. so i fade away.

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