effort: Feb. 28, 2002 (8:24 pm)

i overheard some girls talking about mike. how he's a debator, and all he ever does is have sex at these tournements because girl's hear that he debates well which i suppose is a turn on of sorts. he confuses me. because he's nice to me still, and we kissed over three weeks ago. that's a long time to be nice.

people like him really should be the norm. what i am used to is quite fucked up.

i am why i have few friends. i may not be cold and standoff-ish but i make it take too much of an effort to talk with me. when people say hello i mumble a reply. i rarely smile. i sometimes stare, but that might seem judgmental. i want to change.

i wish i were friendly. i'm sure i could be if i just exerted some effort.

friendly, without being stupid.

< - > - all - p - n - d