cross: Mar. 09, 2002 (5:36 pm)

today should have been wonderful. there was no sun, and i hate the sun. the way it illuminates everything and the rays are heavy and hurt. i prefer the clouds, some ugly lying protection. and i know they are just evaporated water, but they look so much more majestic than a flaming ball of gas. i can not imagine a clear day, no one looks good under those distant flames.

but today is just a day. and it slips away, away, away. (oh how poetic, repeating words three times) and i don't think alex is going to call. no i dont think he's going to fucking call. i think he's going to go out with christine and later say he's sorry when infact i didn't cross his mind at all. it's true.

i'm used to that. not crossing people's minds. think of all the time i've spent thinking about people who never once thought of me. wow.

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