b-side: Aug. 16, 2002 (9:05 am)

i like to be honest but i like admiration better. so sometimes i tell you the stories i've made up in my head; which feel more honest than the truth.

i hate feeling sick. i hate feeling mediocre. i hate feeling alone. i hate feeling alienated. and that's all be up and down for: 3 weeks, life, life, life.

i want to be anywhere but here but my body is too sick. i want to smile when i see you; talk with comfort and laugh.

i just want to leave here and live. it shouldn' be that hard.

i'm not sure what i have to say, what i have to do or if i'd want to say it or want to do it. to get people back in my life.

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