bit: Jan. 23, 2002 (8:48 pm)

so i won [i think] this time. i didn't really care this time, but as i walked out of upper-tech with mike i giggled silently to myself and thought hah paul, i am not as lonely as you might think.

so yes, it was kind of messy kissing and a weird location. but he's nice to me + i think i just sort of wanted anyone. sigh.

we stood there leaning over the clouds and he had his arm around my back. and physically it was nice. and i'm ok with having serious conversations separate from this. i want simplicity for the next few weeks.

i don't want to be paul's friend [i don't think]. i questioned it a while ago. and now i'm saying no. and i don't feel guilty one bit.

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