another: Jun. 23, 2002 (9:11 am)

[while making you the tape] four weeks. all ought to be ignored. but when you come back will you still need to answer my question? still need to make up your mind? because you say different things, and nothing adds up. you deny that my thoughts chase you away...but you said they did...just admit that the truth is hard to always live in. just admit that you've changed. that the only thing that's changed about me is that i think about you; that makes it hard. for you. you hate my sarcasm, but it's supposed to hurt you. because it's the only way i can shield myself from pain. because i when i say my relationships are devalued--i mean especially with you. i would say that i miss being the one you talk about christine with; but that always felt just as bad. 'cause then too you said one thing and did another.

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