already: Apr. 24, 2002 (8:26 pm)

do i say it because it's true or is it true because i say it?

besides our home we imagined other places that were a beauty that we could create because it was us. in that park (which is already full with wonder)in the warmer days of winter, wrapped under a car blanket, looking up at our path in the sky, silence.

it never happened because everything got in the way. but to really see cycles, we need not look beyond who we are. i'm sick of that...but half the time when i say that i want him around forever and half the time i want to leave him.

i feel tired, mediocre, sad, lonely.

i have a cut on my arm, i couldn't draw blood. the point isn't death, the point is pain.

i proved my math teacher wrong and i got hung up on one problem on my physics test so i couldn't finish and i spent the rest of the afternoon basking in my stupidity. three hours studying still did not measure up to what they already have.

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