home: Apr. 24, 2002 (9:07 pm)

when i was younger i built castles out of lies. created my power by understanding what people wanted. made up a false past.and now i feel like i don't even have a past because i have no present.

i've been too concered about tomorrow.

and i can't just live for the moment. but i could atleast acknowledge it's existance.

alex says he has no friends, that the only 'joy' he's felt recently is with me and blandly with flirting with some other girl. we sit and talk and occasionally touch. but we complain about other people too much.we hardly think about

ourselves.

we need to make this place our home.

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