understand: Jul. 07, 2002 (8:37 am)

when glass covered silver was smashed you were too disgusting to look at but i tought maybe if i stared hard enough you would change. and you're not going to. not thinking has made kings of us all; and so you now bask in your momentary joy. you send me charts of why you hurt people but what you don't understand is that if you sever a link it will all change. and you won't let it. there's something for you to talk about on the couch. and now i don't want to respond to your letters, i don't want to talk to you ever again but last time i tried this you made me think you changed right away because you understood. and maybe this is just another tactic.

and what makes you different then paul, merely that passing interest that i think i can find again? i demonize you and put him on a pedastol and can't understand why. but maybe it's because i know his actions are guided by what he feels instead of what other people feel. and existential superhero compared to you.

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