typical: Jan. 08, 2002 (4:27 pm)

it's sad and pathetic but i prefer the internet to the phone. i like being able to do multiple things at once and being able to see my conersation. real contact still is better, but still last night i had a few insightful conversations.

the first was with max about paul. he thinks that paul is really protective but doesn't really know what he wants. which i think is very true. also that he tends to magnify faults in people he likes causing him to distance himself from people that were once important to him.

talking with paul seems a bit more peaceful now but still not exactly normal. i can't even explain it but it still feels like there's a struggle. but we remembered stuff we hated about each other. and we were still ok. which i think is a good sign.

then on the other hand i was talking with alex about innane crushes on boys like ben (who he guessed right away, he knows me far too well). paul says he doesn't want to monopolize my life now, so i guess this is ok. i'm seeing paul next sunday. the twentieth again. hopefully it will be better this time.

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