silence: Apr. 03, 2002 (8:01 pm)

when i got home i screamed and it was wonderful. and i took a shower and i ccoudn't scream anymore, but i slid my razor across my knee. silent screams don't breed the same type of worry. i couldn't stand the flinch of pain, i only have a little mark. i'm more used to slow, rotting pain.

i'm so sick of beind second best. i want to be gifted.

i feel so fucking mediocre.

and lonely.

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