replete: Aug. 13, 2002 (11:40 am)

still sick from the heat but last night was different. in the best way possible.

i've rarely been in the front of a crowd and actually trusted the people i was around not to hurt me in their carelessness.

last night i looked around and everyone looked so happy (even me). for the first time in a long time the answer to the question 'what more could you want in this moment?' was nothing.

i don't really think of paul that much when i'm there anymore. i don't think about how he's a few blocks away. i just realize i never felt so content when i was with him.

last night someone came up to me and asked me to play kickball with them in a suburban parking lot. and it's nothing but for the first time in while i felt like someone wanted my company. but it's just kickball.

everything blended together into the most wonderful crowd.

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