real: May. 30, 2002 (8:55 pm)

lost in feelings of worthlessness, i forget who i hurt. and i forget nights that i haven't been able to sleep 'cause i felt so fucking guilty. grasping at something i know i'll never reach because i know i'll never reach.

still, with my papers all around me his smile, and his smile perched at the bar made me feel better than his persistance and his insight. sadly, really fucking sadly.

ever listen to a record and absolutely cry because you don't know anyone who thinks like that. except you. and you don't want to be a fucking crazed fan. you want to be a real friend.

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