picture: Jun. 20, 2002 (10:15 pm)

i've been waiting for this night for so long. for the show. outside. bodies in harmony. but ft. reno feels tainted. and i talked to him who i hoped would be prfect and he's not. regardless of lack of interest, he's just not...i'm too idealistic i know.

i sat reading (people watching actually) and there was a man behind me. dishoveled, reading, a content smile. and i couldn't tell if he was slightly smiling at me, or if he was just slightly smiling because he was stretched out on the grass reading a book. and that's what i want. (he's older i know, five, ten years maybe i don't know).

as i sat near him i looked at the people from my school, and thought that they were having so much fun. but then, with them, i was miserable.

and maybe i just want to live in unknown ideals.

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