photographs: Aug. 28, 2002 (9:24 pm)

a sterile, bright hospital light shines down on me as she examines my body pulling on the gown as necessary. i'm reading about lung function trying to ignore what's really happening. wasn't i here two months ago? but on max's bed, under his bright light, with his eyes on me and my mind everywhere.

i'm staring down at the liner notes of repeater + 3. the picture under brendan number one. and i guess you don't really look alike; aside from your skinny, boy bodies, and drums which completely engage you both and when i saw you play drums you took your shirt off like him. and it's this really beautiful, shirtless boy entralled by the sounds he can make and the words he can say that seems so beautiful.

(and maybe it just seems so wonderful 'cause it's so different.)

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