personal: Jun. 29, 2002 (8:14 am)

the 'we's are missing from my life right now. there's nothing to feel anymore because all my feelings are distant. all that remains is bardamu and i. i've been writing in multiple choppy sentences where one would suffice which is making me upset because i need sometimes to blame for these bad entries.

two years ago during the summer i met will from ricmond who was a friend of a friend. i swooned over a junior at my school who reminded me of will. and now (approaching junior year) i see an incoming-punk-rock freshman who seth points out is 'a goodlooking straightedge techie' and i'm not interested. and it's nothing personal. so perhaps it wasn't personal back then either?

how am i supposed to escape psychotherapy? i recieved a letter yesterday reminding me of unifinished buisness. i thought she'd forget. i thought the initial care was shown and that's what was required.

my books, poems, letters are all over the country. pennsylvania, california, maryland, his private new mexico near connecticut ave. and it reminds me that when they read the books they don't think of me. the letters last for 2 minutes. and the poem. who the hell knows where the poem is?

< - > - all - p - n - d