off twelve or six: May. 15, 2002 (5:43 pm)

i was ten again (that was over half a decade ago, now). he asked if it was new. that ever extending river. and i turned around and chewed my pen. started laughing. couldn't speak besides quickly saying yes. tell me. i can't. moves close, you can. no. write it down. not here, later.

later. you know i've taken three assignments today and i think i've fucked up the last part of every single one. i don't know why i wrote about czechloslovia in 68 instead of Hungry in 56. over confidence i suppose, i should've checked. been more careful.

accident

alone, again with the tape playing

songs so different from my life

really lived, really know, really

men in omaha who I am sure

if I just knew some like them...

Lately, I mean always, it's moments

the overlap of his warm thigh onto mine

the sound of his breath and sighs

he doesn't love me though, really

I act too good for him and I act cruel

dinosaur

an epiphany, really

you declared, � I know

why we go in cycles.'

�oh, yeah?'

�We have no relationship and

we're just avoiding mentioning it'

circling around dupont

you took off your father's

leather glove, and held my hand

flesh against flesh

you kissed me good bye at the bus stop

and I finally understood this line

I, the dinosaur, had sung so many nights

�we create images to make out lives seem pretty'

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