machiavelli: Jul. 27, 2002 (2:33 pm)

again; in my dream i was working on a show and she managed to stay a step a head of me. persuing a boy whom i could not see. but she could.

and it made me realize that us, the december three, just aren't very good to each other. just aren't very good to each other at all. i guess we somehow think that as the other one feels differently they don't feel intensely. the boy she likes holds me at a show. and she is content in hanging out with a boy whom i like. inviting me, but only if he's there too.

just we, as girls, are not very good to each other.

we persue love interests so much more intently. and i'm wondering: what exactly is it that we're looking for? sex and conversation--together? and we see that relationship as an end--worth any means. yeah, i'm not proud of this. not proud of this at all. our machiavellian love. by any means necessary.

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