odd choices: 12-17-01 (8:27 pm)

study break. one more day of school. free, art, french test, orch rehersal, math class, physics lab. nice day. i was going to go to the lotr midnight showing but i realized i wouldn't get home until three am + that i already have tickets for the three pm show. haha i called it lotr, i'm offically dorky (say it outloud, doesn't it sound cool?low-torr)

talked to paul today. i wonder if we're only doing this because he's desperate. on the contrary am i only ok with it because i long for some sort of physical contact with anyone. but do we this super special relationship that trancends traditional boundaries of love. not very fucking likely. we're just afraid of relationships, of endings, of happiness, of hurting each other, of being suck together for ever and ever, of finding that we are all we need. replace the 'we's with 'me's. it's more honest that way.

i'm writing this in a weird style...

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