feel right: Jan. 06, 2002 (3:06 pm)

a few weeks ago he said she was nothing like what i was, what i am. yet he still chases girls that are not like what i was, not what i am. i never really liked him when i was what i was. why did i ever get involved? just to have someone? but i had that other boy who i had already dumped once because everyone thought he was gay. that's amusing looking back on since now i am looking forward to just seeing and talking with christina again. just to have someone at that party, at that moment in that time between december nineteen ninety nine and january two thousand. well he's briged all that time and between every year, every day, every moment where nothing else is in my mind. thoughts by default. love by default. is that all that goodness is or is there something more, something right. tonight two years ago we were kissing outside of macdonalds in the dark. and i felt superior and i felt good. and that doesn't even do it for me now. i care for what others feel, and for what i feel and one day that will be the same. and that day everythin will feel right.

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