facts: Jul. 02, 2002 (9:18 pm)

it's not the same when you're not with anyone (anyone at all) who you sit and talk about the truth with. the truth between you. but it's equally awful when that's everything. i think.

max says that i ought to meet people, that it's not so hard. and last night i couldn't stop anything (because even when i realize something i can't change the fact right away. because that's tough. too tough.) but; i realized i look for irrational physical relationships and make the rest up in my head. was your hand there to touch mine, or was it just there? and i don't remember what else there is. just remember, i didn't talk to him either. just sort of waited.

it was better when that wasn't all there was.

and the fact is, that i sort of like this guy. but i think he has someone else. and, just now, i'm so afraid everything is just boredom.

< - > - all - p - n - d