compare: Jul. 20, 2002 (9:45 am)

i didn't really know him. when i really think about it, if i really knew him i don't know how much i would miss him. i think i just miss anyone. i think he's not so wonderful (to me). and it's not that i hate him, that i never want to talk to him again. i just don't want to compare everyone to this unflawed image of paul.

and i can't get past this overwhelming desire to know someone. (to dance with after shows on late summer nights. not to fight for hours. not to play games, just to exist together. and enjoy.)

and it's odd that i get to know them now. two days before closing.

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