beauty: Jun. 26, 2002 (7:01 pm)

oh, my beautiful words where did you go? because you were not the pain. i'm still honest...aren't i? all of you say, 'you're words are beautiful.' and to think in this world i get first, second, third, one hundreth looks. unlike here.

except there have been eyes today. the pretty (scruffy, skinny) college boy on the bus. and elsewhere.

but alex's blue eyes seem just like anything (that doesn't look my way). i don't see anything in them anymore. because i realize he's not so honest. i don't think. and then there's him but he normally has his sunglasses on. (but on the other hand i can at least pretend he's looking at me. does he even seem me? as anything but a foolish, swooning, typical teenage girl? because that's what i feel like. it's really awful)

'i have brown eyes. that's what everyone has always told me.' 'yeah?' says the asian girl, 'i have blue eyes. thats what everyone has always told me.'

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