i should never leave my house: 12-08-01 (8:45 am)

i hooked up with paul's friend.

shit. you maybe asking, 'how did a smart girl like annie possibly do this?' or possibly 'why is that even a big deal?' me and two of my frends went to see a high school play (i have a slight crush on a guy who's techie there...i dont really know him but i'd like to) but we didn't get tickets ahead of time + they sold out. the sm told me i could get in though so we just sorta hung out there for a while, waiting. in the meantime i saw this guy peter who i knew in 7th grade and we were talking a bit, but i ended up talking more to his other friend max who he kinda ditched for his girlfriend. so me, max + my two friends were waiting and i saw the techie and he came up to me and he remembered me + he also said he could get me in. his friends came up to him and it turns out he hasa girlfriend. at the time i was really dissapointed, now i kinda wish i was just friends with him because i dont want another relationship that comes out of nothing randomly because think it's probably a lot better when it comes out of at least a slight friendship. of corse it's kind of annoying now because i have this ulterior motive, but oh well we'll see about that...so we all waiting around a bit more and then me max and my two friends decided to go see a movie instead. but it was sold out (recurring pattern of the night). i did talk to the guy a lot on the way there. he likes latin, theoretical physics, skateboarding, goes to this really cool school which is an absolute democracy run by the students + is a straightedge atheist. so we got along. it's not my ideal conversation though,it was more 'so what do you like?' then asking about why or how or anything of any real substance. we all went to one of my friends house + i ended up hooking up with this guy there. woops. i feel guilty because i few weeks ago i got upset with paul because he went to a party with kids from my school and was only 'pretty sure' nothing happened. i really do have to tell paul and i'm pretty sure he won't be mad but i just feel like a hypocrite.

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