start: Feb. 22, 2003 (11:11 pm)

tonight felt like nights before i met david and all i want to do is talk on the phone late with someone else. excited. so i dont feel this distant and sad. because he was with a girl: maybe we won't grow up together. maybe we aren't chris and hannah. maybe it's david and erin. maybe not feeling it now means not feeling it ever.

oh. answering machine. i was really hoping i could cry on the phone and then we could laugh and it would feel ok and i would say, "it's not just him. look at how excited you are. look at how you care about each other. look at how you are ok. look at how you are smiling now." but it's just a voice on an answering machine that doesn't even sound like yours.

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