time: Feb. 10, 2002 (5:28 pm)

i should be working. i should be working. i should be working.

they now say that neil wanted to fuck me. and i probably would've been ok with that. losing my virginity in a dirty mediocre university dorm. to a boy who wears glasses that make me swoon. he also made me smile.

paul rarely made me smile when i saw him.

talking to him was fantastic, but i could never feel the same way when i was actually with him.

and now i'm not so sure if time would make it happen.

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