i dropped out of college again: Nov. 05, 2005 (9:25 pm)

kevin and i walked to the grocery store and carried the groceries back in too full bags like david and i used to do and and i used to love those afternoons and i used to come home and write about them (sometimes twice), but there was nothing there that was there with someone else three years ago. we spent the afternoon sketching and writing about a sometimes nude model and i thought about how my drawing looking surprisingly beautiful and my handwriting looked surprisingly terrible and expressed surprisingly nothing. and then my boyfriend and i left early and walked to the bookstore and probably didn't love each other and then we sat in the second studio waiting to clean up and when the door open i saw leon who hugged me and appologized and my voice cracked introducing him to ben who hadn't touched me that much all day, only soft and quick on the lips or hard on the arms.

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