shot gun: Sept. 08, 2002 (8:29 am)

maybe i just feel bad because i'm self-absorbed, but no one else will care for my well being. it hurts that he came over to her house beforehand leaving me alone for 40 minutes with adults i didn't know. and it hurts how it didn't even occur to them that it might have happened. and it hurts how they whisper jokes to each other. and it hurts how he tells me about something she does that's cute. and it hurts how at the show she had a message from him and couldn't stop laughing. it hurts that is cherry coke is in the front seat of her car. i shouldn't have to always be waiting. i shouldn't have to automatically give him shot gun. i shouldn't have to feel abandoned. i shouldn't have to see you care about every girl more than me and i shouldn't have to see you treat me poorly.

i don't want to anymore.

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