one way to look at it: Nov. 11, 2003 (8:45 pm)

when i was younger i had a fear of nosebleeds in public places. i was afraid of seeing blood all over my textbook or sweater. it never happened, but that's the way fears work. today, i read in the library during lunch. holding a pen to my mouth, my finger brushed against my nose and came back a bit red. i forgot vonnegut and walked to the the bathroom. standing in a stall i heard people come and go. a girl said "cool, cool, cool" and another said "he is hot." it made me think about what gabe said about some people fitting into cliches. i guess i can't hold it against them, i'm sure i'm it too.

when i was younger i also had a best friend. one time at the uptown we screamed at a scene in a movie. we both claimed the other one screamed first, and started it. i got that feeling again on saturday, the comfort of being there side by side and touching to remember that we were both bothered. lately, i've been having an easier time watching movies and not constantly remembering who i am next to and how close we are. all in all, i don't miss being younger and right now is pleasant enough for right now.

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