tuesday morning: Aug. 19, 2003 (11:54 am)

wednesday i fell asleep in new hampshire and woke up in suburban maryland. much earlier wednesday morning i told a story about how even before i had my first period i was afraid i had gotten pregrant from taking a bath after my brother had masturbated in the shower as i pushed against skinny hips. i appologized and he smiled and kissed me and i giggled before i fell asleep. much later i hugged caitlin and sat cross legged with thighs overlapping in a familiar drive way. i remembered how hot it was before i left and thought about how i meant to come home later when it was even cooler. i've been a little out of it since i had surgery on friday morning. i've been watching movies alone and sleeping in empty rooms and it's not so hard to get used to but i've been wishing that it were fall so that i could see what's left here after some of my close friends leave.

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