it's not worth it: Aug. 02, 2003 (6:30 pm)

driving up north capital last night i sat at red lights watching all the one infront be green and then turn red when i could finally go. i was angry watching my gas tank go down and thinking that everyone stuck at the light with me was also watching their gas go down. everything i do adds up. i don't want to own a car and i don't want to work in public policy. i want to ride a bike and have friends that live close and try to write fiction that's less like non-fiction and cook better food and maybe design buildings or cities but only if i didn't have to go to a office. i really hate the office. i'm really excited to not live in this house anymore but i'm not really sure where to go. i just know that i want to. tonight i'm going to eat this fun shaped pasta i had in a soup with david once and finish reading the moviegoer and hopefully be tired enough to go to sleep early. i was always jealous of john because he could have nights like this and be content because he loved his home and his housemates whereas i just feel slightly out of touch.

< - > - all - p - n - d