new mexico: May. 19, 2003 (6:18 pm)

we're going away again; it's fine. you learn to live without sex. i lay down and read and am actually all interested in any type conversation. even silent, inside. sometimes my mind wanders back to a boy i met in a museum last june who was quiet but political and full of his own dignity. or to an observation i thought was a promise. and still hope is. but things seem intense and i guess it's not such a big deal; just dissapointing.

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