springtime: Apr. 21, 2003 (10:30 pm)

i'm feeling like a baby and that i should be sticking my tongue out at people because at least that would make me honest. i want a clean break like my clean break from max. hey, some things just never work quite right.

i think robbie went crazy. he touched me and he's got bandaged arms and my head's trembling. i was going crazy but it was quiet. i just sat and read bukowski over and over and spun a pen around my finger. i didn't hurt anyone. i haven't done much work because david called and we spoke and everything i loved about him in july is gone and i'm different too. but this time i love no matter what. really.

my sweater smells like saturday night and my skin smells like almond soap. i'm quiet and slow and i like the sunshine now.

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