chamomille tea: Apr. 12, 2003 (8:35 am)

he says that he wants to go away and that no one here means much of anything to him. we're on the phone and i say that i'm here but i know what he meant. i haven't seen him for weeks. i never used to go weeks without seeing david. we used to try a lot harder. not just us but everyone. now i come home on fridays and sleep for 10 hours because that's what i need. i wish you didn't live so far away. everyone is long distance. i'm finding friends here but that doesn't change a thing.

this isn't afer; we are always during. which is why you are tough to be around still because i'm realizing all those things that we tried to name last year. we are dissapointed and angry all the time.

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