cycle: Mar. 23, 2003 (11:03 am)

neva has an inner child THIS big. she doesn't treat me like socrates so i don't mind when she does something that dissapoints me because i know it doesn't dissapoint her. sometimes i feel really young and that's not always good. last night i felt fourteen and five foot two and nothing. and i'm not: i'm seventeen, i'm five foot five and i'm something. i'm pretty in a unique way. i'm a smart girl. i'm on the all-star bio team. i'm a gigantoid. i'm a 30s superhero dependent on my own efforts and not some crazy science according to my history teacher. i lend people sweaters when they are cold and i make people sandwiches and i to listen to other people when they say what they mean. i'm annie.

i remember when my horoscopes were all about love. and when i felt like i was speaking in conversations and not prayers. when i first heard fuck and run i was 12 and now i'm 17 and that's kind of neat.

yesterday afternoon was really nice. i was right and surprises are nicer than plans. when i saw jake i smiled. i never wrote about getting upset on his bed or feeling stale on the drive to his house or feeling like he was tired of looking at my face, but it's nice to know that's not permanent even if it comes back it still will go away.

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