age: Mar. 15, 2003 (7:46 am)

in three years he learned how to run fifteen miles and i spent time writing about him. he's in resistance, he's in manhood, he's in conformity, he's in content, he's in liberty, he's in disillusinment, he's in hedonism, he's in change, he's in love. he liked self-absorbtion, because he's sick of hearing about his weak side. he's sick of hearing about him and me in that way. the last time we kissed was in november, almost december. it was the same internal boundary as before, so it was a lot more touching and a lot less looking face-to-face. boys put their hands on my shoulders and stop there: at first tech, in the bio-lab, at the brit-pop dance night, in the snow, on the metro platform. now; we go to diners in daylight and we don't get tea because that was something we shared before. and this is after.

but not exactly: i don't tell people this but in mid december i tried to go to his house before a black eyes show. i did that walk from your house to dupont circle in the cold. in the same sweater, same shoes as may. we never heard liz phair together, but i can say supernova and you know that riff well.

i'm throwing away strategy and just going.

< - > - all - p - n - d